When searching for the meaning and feeling of love, David always was an over thinker.
He played so many non existent scenarios in his head. Often alone he wondered why no one would love him. On an endless search, he would pour his heart out only to get rejected.
He would buy women’s time and attention, he would go out of his way to be noticed and accepted. David an introvert, very soft spoken, and was often neglected.
He was the kind of guy, that if you said you liked something, he would make sure you got it even if that meant risking his life, you were going to have exactly what you asked for. Only if it was up to David. He was also that kind of guy that held everything in. His story was his story and he would tell you a façade to disguise his true feelings.
A very generous man, with a kind attitude, described by many as a heart of Gold.
So many times though, it is the person you hear people talk about, that has a heart of gold, is the very same person who doesn’t even know their own value and understand their worth. David was that way. He didn’t know his own value. He wore his heart on his sleeve. The love he yearned for from his mother was non existent to him because she had another child who commanded more of her attention. His father, would only come around only when he needed something. He had girlfriends but those girlfriends didn’t really love him for him. He loved the idea of them, but there was no compatibility. He didn’t have many friends either. He was an introvert preferring to keep his circle close knit.
A lost cause David would ask. “Why is it so hard to be loved?” He would look to the sky with tears coming down his eyes form time to time, venting “Why does no on love me?, I just want to be accepted, I want someone to love me for me!, to appreciate me for me. How hard is it?, Why me?, is anyone listening?”
He felt as if this was maybe the way of God punishing him from a past life, or punishing him for his ways as a child, or other various forms of karma. What he was unaware of though is God doesn’t punish anyone. God is love. We punish ourselves.
One day he was sitting outside, just contemplating his life. Eyes closed as he would listen to the waves of the bay water crashing along the bank, and the sounds of the birds, Pelicans to be specific. David always enjoyed watching and listening to the pelicans teaching their young to fish. He always viewed it as a lesson because after the Adult pelican would crash it’s way into the water, the baby would be hesitant at first, then eventually crashing into the water. He felt it was a way of teaching the new born to trust it’s surrounding, be cautious at first but when you know your surroundings and there is something you want, to go for it. Make that splash. If you just observe nature you will be taught valuable lessons. For David the pelican watching was so relaxing, it would often help him doze off.
As he was sitting He felt a hand touch him on the shoulder.
“Do you mind if I join you?” A tall man, with a deep voice asked.
“No not at all.”
This gentleman joined him and as he did, he stared at the water. “It is a beautiful day isn’t?”
Eyes still closed, David replied “It sure is.” I just wish I was spending this moment with a woman I can love.” But I can settle for you as a consolation” jokingly and the man laughed.
Then said “Son, if you loved yourself, you wouldn’t have to worry about that, People tend to think that they need someone to love, to experience love. Just love the moment and be.”
David quickly replied with I don’t even know how to just love the moment and be, I am searching for love, I don’t know what love really means. I just have an idea of what it is and means and I want to find it for myself.”
The gentleman replied with a smirk. “That is the problem I noticed today. So many people have this idea of love, this created illusion of a four letter word. But not a lot of people take the time to understand it. Not a lot of people have the patience to really search for it. I believe God put us all on an individual treasure hunt. Sometimes you just have to follow the signs, quiet your mind and listen. God always talks son, and when God talks, God guides, and when God guides, just follow his light because his light is always shining on the ultimate prize.”
When David opened his eyes, and looked next to him, that gentleman was gone, there was no one there, just an empty space on the bench as he overlooked the water and the parenting pelicans.
David, had only one thought on his mind, a treasure hunt. What did, whatever he experience mean.
“I believe God put us all on an individual treasure hunt”, the sounds of what he heard, that echoed in his head. It was getting late, so he decided to walk home. All he was thinking about was words, of what he was hearing. As he was walking he stumbled up on a carving on the sidewalk that said Think God Big. Instantly thought that was a sign. “Hmm”, he thought. He continued walking, curious and overthinking. Wondering why he experienced what he experienced. He did not know he was closer to his answer now more than ever. He got home and went straight to his bible. During his walk he said he was just going to open his bible and read a random passage as a sign. Before he actually opened his bible. He closed his eyes and meditated, just sulking in the silence and he heard a whisper. “I Am, Inside”. It was a chant from the unknown. He got to his bible and opened it up and it was Isaiah 45:3 –
And I will give thee the treasures of darkness, and hidden riches of secret places, that thou mayest know that I, the LORD, which call thee by thy name, am the God of Israel. He closed the bible, opened it again, and it was Luke 12:34 – For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. Once again he closed it and opened it only to read Colossians 2:3 – In whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. Thinking to himself this is a sign. ‘Just like the man said God always talks son, and when God talks, God guides, and when God guides, just follow his light because his light is always shining on the ultimate prize.”
Before he went to bed, he prayed and then meditated on this day of confusion, thought, and some type of enlightenment. Before he passed out he muttered a simple phrase, as if it was given to him by the heavens.
“The ultimate treasure hunt is the search for love that is hidden within us.”
As he passed out the Gentleman appeared in his dreams, this time he was face to face with him, the voice he was hearing was the voice of himself. The man said to him, “I am, you from within. You never really searched for me, you always searched outside of me. You never really took time to get to know me, you never got to understand your own ways, or who you even are. But before you passed out with one phrase you ended your elusive search for love. By saying ” The ultimate treasure hunt is the search for love that is hidden within us.”
“True love is treasure buried deep within ourselves.” You just needed to quiet your outside world and make time for us to become connected and have patience in my teaching.” I know you best because I am you, I am the God within you, and I love you, as long as you have me, self love, that is all you need in this world. Space will be created for everything else to occupy just have faith, in my way.”
After David discovered self love, his whole world changed. Patiently and with time but in changed his whole life. He stopped overthinking and started learning, he forgave everyone is his past and lived with gratitude towards life and expressed gratitude towards others. Understanding that gratitude is the rawest expression of love and when you live with self love you become a more loving person.
David like so many of us is in a search for love, this for letter word that society has added so many meanings, different interpretations, and ideas, it has really distracted us from the inner search and being that is love. So it is like we are on this wild treasure hunt, that can sometime takes us to so many different places. But the real meaning of love is buried deep within us and once we discover it and live with self love everything in our life will be aligned on purpose for a greater purpose, and it will all make sense.