changes, hope, life, love, new, peace, personal development, poem, poet, poetry, self help

How I feel

I am mad, but I don’t hate you because they are my emotions and I am in control of how I feel.
I am sad, I am frustrated, but I smile because I don’t want you to think that my frustration is real.
I am hurt but dwelling never eases the pain, it is like after surviving a hurricane, the sudden sunshine doesn’t restore the damage the storm made, that takes days, months, even years for everything to be okay.
I am depressed, but it is not your fault, I am the captain of this ship,
it is just being in this rut, everything seems wrong, but it is my thoughts that alter my mood just as quick.
I am in love, but not the kind of love you say, but the kind of love that sees my issues, my problems, my weaknesses and feel like there is hope for me that remains, the type of love strengthens pain. The type of love that never sways, the kind of love that knows a God is with me, and no matter the circumstance the kind of love that’s stays the same.
I forgive, as I relive memories everyone in my past whether it is kin, friends or enemies, that once hurt me, picked me apart, or didn’t support my dream, that never came around, or just simply didn’t believe, I forgive you, but most importantly I forgive me.
I forgive me for allowing your words, actions, and thoughts to influence my mind, I forgive myself for allowing your storm to enter my sunshine. I forgive myself for my once doubt and hate for life, and I learned to love me, as I continue to grow and make it right.