life, love, mothers, parenthood, peace, relationships, singlemoms, singlemothers

Single Mothers Deserve Better

First and foremost, I have the utmost respect for mothers. The fact that a woman can endure so much pain for 9 months, and complete lifestyle change is beyond me. In a world where today’s look means everything, where people are so focused on being slim and trim and the next model or beach manikin. A pregnant mother to be is carrying life. I repeat carrying life. For all those dad’s who complain about carrying their child A mother carries her baby everyday for 9 consecutive month. Imagine that. I hear it all the time how women have such a perfect body and then get pregnant and their whole body changes. That alone, should make us appreciate the make up of a woman’s character, who is subject to stares of all kinds, walking by women with perfect bodies like they once were blessed with. Watching how active other women are, while they are developing life. I love seeing a pregnant woman who is secure with herself and adds style to her everyday life. So can us as men just appreciate the process of a mother? Can we respect their sacrifice to their body and eventually their life? Can we look past the hormonal stages ? and be there for support? Can we stop building ourselves up as tough when women carry life for 9 months and then endure the toughest procedure which is to give birth? I don’t have kids, but I love women, and if I can going to commit my time to one, I must unselfishly put myself in their shoes, to understand them or at least attempt to.

Now imagine all of which I just stated now apply it to a single mom. Whether from a man that just did the quick fling and knocked a woman up , or the loser that fears parenthood, or the boy that is not ready for commitment, the abusive monster, or maybe even a soldier’s partner or a widow. Single mom’s come from all walks of life and have stories you couldn’t even imagine. They range from 13 years of sadly to even in their 50’s. I notice in today’s world, more parent’s are single, especially single mothers. Men either look at single mother’s as tools, for a quick night of fun to being desperate creatures in search for love, to hands off material because they come with baggage. Which is upsetting. I have noticed that most of these dating websites are filled with more and more single mothers. More men see these women as pieces of meat and it makes me so upset because there is beauty beyond their blemishes. It is ultimately these men’s lost and a very fortunate persons gain. Kudos though to the men who look past their wounds, scars, and so called baggage. One man’s baggage is another man’s blessing.

I look a hard working, responsible single mother as a blessing. As men we must appreciate them for who they are first. See beyond them being a mother. Look at lady, at her core. She is a grand daughter, a daughter and a mother. She sacrifices her time, her life, in providing for her kids. Most single moms put their career on hold to raise their children, some even struggle to make ends meet so they are working day and night just so food can be put on the table, a favorite toy can be put in the toy box or a favorite outfit hung up on a closet. If you look at a single mom and she is with her child, most likely what the child is wearing is from her last dollar at times. We fail to realize how hard these women work. We fail to appreciate their sacrifice, we fail to respect them as women. We fail understand that she is not a woman with baggage but she is a mother with a family that deserves to be complete, that deserves to be accepted, that deserves to be wanted that deserves more than a simple judgment. It is not easy being a single mom. We don’t understand how many night’s some spend crying just because their burden at times is so heavy, their balance is non existent and the one thing that people without kids take for granted they wish dearly to have sometimes and that is to have a day or 2 of peace of mind. At the end of it all, all the struggles, pain, tears, restless nights, and lack of self time, most single moms will tell you, they would do it all over again. That says a lot about the character of woman, especially a single mom.

Men, I think it is time to look past the stigmas created by today’s society. Look beyond what others call baggage. A child is a blessing, and as is being with a single mother, is more than playing the role of a dad. It is being a man and helping the woman you want to be with, be mom, helping her become a complete woman again, and taking that burden of mom and dad off her shoulders. I think it is time we start showing love and appreciating their efforts as they let go of their past as they involve, and start trust you with something as sacred as being a part of their kids life. You have the choice to be in their life they are not forcing you. If you are going to be with a single mother you must be open to accepting them for who they are and what they bring with them. You never know your purpose or reasoning they are put in your life. Maybe being a man in her child’s life is exactly what that child needs. But to shut them down because they have kids is not right. You are missing out on the blessing. I also feel just like any women they deserve to be treated like queens. Just because they have a incomplete family with someone less fortunate, doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to be completed.

Women are more than tools they are beautiful souls with loving nature, but we must be understanding of them, and respectful and mindful. Whether they have kids or not, married or not. But just because she has kids doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve to be wanted. It takes a secure and selfless man to understand the beauty of a single mom.

But that is just my perspective.